"Nothing creates more unhappiness than failed expectations." - Deepak ChopraLife would be wonderful if people did exactly what they said they'd do and plans unfolded the way we think they should. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
When you don't get the job you really wanted, you love the guy or woman who lies and cheats while saying, "I love you," the car breaks as soon as you make the last payment, the flight that is cancelled after a year of planning the perfect vacation, and the list goes on, you feel as if the world is unfair and conspires against you. Why? Because you did everything right. You dotted every "i" and crossed every "t", so why does life continue to kick you square in the throat...hard?! It's not simply because you did or did not what was expected; it's because you expected a certain result from your role in the exchange.
What is the best way to deal with the disappointment that is often handed to you on a silver platter? Is it best to expect the worse? No. I'm no pessimist, so that won't work, at least not for me. The best way to manage your feelings about the crap that happens is to do all you can to lead the life your desire, step back, and make adjustments based on the results that appear.
I've had my share of broken promises, unexpected life-changing events, and deafening silences after prayers go unanswered, so I speak from experience. Still, I wake up every day with the knowledge that I am equipped with whatever is required to get through the following 24 hours. I believe and trust that all is as it should be. I, do, however have moments of pure, unfiltered sadness. (Some people may call it anger, but the word anger is usually used when you doesn't adequately identify your feelings behind the anger, but that's a separate discussion all together.) I'm human and was created with the same feelings and emotions that everyone feels. The difference is I don't let them control me.
What tools do I use to gracefully manage my expectations and negative results?
- Feel it, whatever feeling I have about an event/result, intensely...and then let it go. Staying in a mentally negative space is neither helpful nor productive. A year from now you'll realize it's just a waste of time.
